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Politics

Politics

Five square feet of drying paint on a wall considers Labour leadership bid

Politics

US Supreme Court demands mums now carry babies to full term of 10 years until inevitable school shooting

Politics

Grinning sociopath bewildered as shallow charm suddenly stops working at by-elections

Politics

Brexiter discovers map to long-lost sunlit uplands by UK joining tariff-free trade federation with its nearest geographical neighbours

Politics

New unruly pupil at Kigali school not all that he seems

Politics

Commons chiefs say all future allegations of MPs' sexual misbehaviour will be investigated by South Yorkshire Police

Politics

Tories praised for inventing time machine taking UK back 40 years to a time of hyper-inflation and national strikes

Politics

"We just love pain," say sadomasochists planning to vote Tory in upcoming by-elections

Politics

Priti Patel orders that Prince Charles must stay in Rwanda or be deported to German ancestral homeland

Politics

World confused as man everyone saw inciting insurrection now saying he didn't incite insurrection

Politics

Priti Patel says Assange extradition a lesson for anybody else planning on telling truth

Politics

Rail industry strikers called greedy incompetents by people paid more than 80 grand a year to wreck the country

Politics

Starmer to condemn Rwanda deportations when he finds a way not to upset racists he's wooing

Politics

"It has Clacton in it, doesn't it?" asks PM as he starts search for new ethics adviser

Politics

"I've fucked my job anyway so why not make the UK a rogue state before I go?" asks Boris

Politics

Mystery as to why creepy-looking thumb-headed MP felt need to indulge in sexual misconduct

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