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Netflix 'History of Swear Words' hosted by Nicolas Cage but fails to include word often used to describe him

By Leppy Pardalis

The producers of new Netflix series ‘History of Swear Words’ have been accused of an embarrassing lapse.

Although the programme is hosted by Nicolas Cage, the list of words it covers does not include the one most often used to describe Mr Cage by anguished film lovers.

The word is especially popular among cinema-goers and DVD purchasers who shell out cash for the latest Cage offering in the hope that it will be one of the undoubtedly very talented actor’s many very good films, only to realise too late that it’s one of his equally numerous completely shit films.

In an open letter to the producers of the new programme, a disgruntled group of British film enthusiasts say: “We note that the programme includes episodes devoted to the words Fuck, Shit, Bitch, Dick, Pussy and Damn.

“This is all well and good, although the words in question are no more shocking - and probably rather less shocking - than what might be heard in any British junior school playground on any given day. Well, except for Damn, which is far too week even for the meekest of British children.

“However, your failure to include the word perhaps most often used to refer to Mr Cage in a programme hosted by Mr Cage is an egregious lapse.

“There is not a film enthusiast in the world who has never approached a new Nicolas Cage film in the hope of encountering another Wild at Heart, Leaving Las Vegas or at least Con Air, only to realise they’ve been tricked by their own optimism into handing over their hard-earned money for another Ghost Rider or Wicker Man.

“And which word do they exclaim once that realisation hits? The very word Netflix has failed to include in a series about swear words hosted by the man himself. What sort of a cunning stunt is that?

“We demand a special edition of ‘History of Swear Words’ in which amends are made.”