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Grinch to take Omicron to court after variant reveals plan to steal Christmas

By Dawn Ob

Covid variant Omicron is due to appear in court this week after being accused of plagiarism by everybody’s favourite misanthrope The Grinch.

This comes after it was revealed that the newly famous variant, who is currently on a world tour, is planning to steal Christmas.

Speaking outside the Old Bailey, The Grinch said: “Along comes omicron. It comes without ribbons, it comes without tags. It comes without packages, boxes, or bags. But it is Christmas it wants. To steal it does. But that is mine. So I cause a fuss. I does. I does.

“Yule not steal it. For that is mine. Yule not have it. Oh no, you won’t. Yule is my time. I love it more than this hairy ant. Which is a bit strange, you weird variant.

“I’m the one who steals Christmas not you. And that is why it is you I must sue.

“It is my idea to steal Christmas cheer. Not yours to say ‘here, hold my beer’. That is not right. That is not fair. There will be a fight. There will be a scare.”

The news that Omicron might be planning to steal Christmas was revealed after UK Health Secretary Sajid Javid stated that more restrictions might need to be put in place to stall the latest variant of coronavirus. This comes after the reintroduction of mask mandates in retail and advice for people to work from home.

Omicron was unavailable for comment.