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General News

Rescue teams in race against time to find buried internet after Bernie Sanders memes avalanche

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Scotland shouldn't get independence referendum, says former Prime Minister who was never elected to that office

General News

Government defence of trade with genocidal regimes placed alongside 'rain falling downwards' in Big Book of Surprises

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Frantic search for adequate simile or metaphor to cover Theresa May questioning Johnson's morals

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Americans calling Lego 'Legos' just fucking insanity says rest of English speaking world

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Last remaining pub which still uses clip art for all of its posters finally closes

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Poll finds Biden could impale kittens on live television from Oval Office and still be less loathed than Trump

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Parents boast of success in lockdown home teaching after children give them cruel and offensive nicknames

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'Phew!' says UKIP after Priti Patel announces £800 fine for parties of over 15 people

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Surviving Nazis' residents' association denies Trump exile in Paraguay as he'd lower the tone

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UK demands flood waters go back to Irish Sea for customs checks

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Britons feel brief joy at Trump's exit, then see Johnson on television and remember

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Man fined for driving 200 miles for fish supper just glad police didn't spot large box of crack on back seat

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"Ah shucks," says Joe Biden as mask accidentally slips during inauguration revealing him to be a lizard person

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Delusional Trump demands recount of insurrection stating he is now America's warlord and has been bathing in Democrats' blood for past 14 days

General News

Trump helpfully lists potential Inauguration Day sniper positions he really, really hopes no domestic terrorists will use

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