News Elephant

General News

"Look, I'll totally get around to publishing details of all our suspicious Covid-contracts, just as soon as I've finished redecorating my flat," promises Boris

General News

"The proposed 1% pay rise is about as welcome as the clap," say elated nurses

General News

School staff at no greater risk from covid, say experts working nowhere near classrooms

General News

SpaceX to have time-travelling British 1970s and 80s Bonfire Night dads on standby with buckets of sand

General News

Barbie Dreamhouse made escape-proof by French security chiefs in case Sarkozy corruption appeal fails

General News

Amazon denies it's plotting to invade Poland in wake of Hitler logo debacle

General News

"123,000 dead but here's some money!" says Rishi as he slowly hypnotises nation with his devilish good looks

General News

Chancellor to bang on about prudence and fiscal responsibility for at least 20 minutes before ignoring it completely and spunking a buttload of nation’s cash

General News

Pontins accused of discriminating in favour of Irish people by banning swathes of them from its shitty holiday camps

General News

Webuyanycar.com offers Pompeii archaeologists fifty quid for recently discovered Roman carriage

General News

Shrubbery denies Triffids-style takeover plot as people who saw meteors report vision problems

General News

Hunt for Brazilian covid variant case ends after man spotted building a 100ft Christ The Redeemer statue on his front lawn

General News

Top racehorse trainer insists he wasn't grinning and making inappropriate gesture as he sat astride dead horse

General News

US and UK confused by new alien concept called 'consequences' after jailing of former French President Nicolas Sarkozy

General News

Politicians suffer tongue burns after uttering name of Captain Sir Tom Moore

General News

Production stopped on new Paddington movie after Peruvian bear deported by Priti Patel

General News

Handforth Parish Council tells Scottish Parliament to be a bit more dignified

General News

Restaurant customer sprinkled with washing powder by Father Ted writer Graham Linehan in Surf'n'TERF mix-up

General News

"Ok, boomer!" Covid-19 tells Ebola as it tries to steal the limelight in West Africa

General News

"Look, I'll totally get around to publishing details of all our suspicious Covid-contracts, just as soon as I've finished redecorating my flat," promises Boris

"The proposed 1% pay rise is about as welcome as the clap," say elated nurses

School staff at no greater risk from covid, say experts working nowhere near classrooms

SpaceX to have time-travelling British 1970s and 80s Bonfire Night dads on standby with buckets of sand

Barbie Dreamhouse made escape-proof by French security chiefs in case Sarkozy corruption appeal fails

Most Popular

New 1970s-style covid public information films to scare shit out of people after appeal to decency and common sense fails

Mars Perseverance Rover to be fined by Derbyshire Police for breaking lockdown rules

Piers Morgan furiously smashes up Good Morning Britain studio after Meghan and Harry admit they've never heard of him

OJ offended by Boris Johnson comparison, says he was accused of killing about 120,000 fewer people

PM congratulates self after breweries forced to organise own piss-ups

Man injects excitement into lockdown by staring despondently out of a different window for the day

"Look, I'll totally get around to publishing details of all our suspicious Covid-contracts, just as soon as I've finished redecorating my flat," promises Boris

"The proposed 1% pay rise is about as welcome as the clap," say elated nurses

School staff at no greater risk from covid, say experts working nowhere near classrooms

SpaceX to have time-travelling British 1970s and 80s Bonfire Night dads on standby with buckets of sand

Barbie Dreamhouse made escape-proof by French security chiefs in case Sarkozy corruption appeal fails

Amazon denies it's plotting to invade Poland in wake of Hitler logo debacle

"123,000 dead but here's some money!" says Rishi as he slowly hypnotises nation with his devilish good looks

Chancellor to bang on about prudence and fiscal responsibility for at least 20 minutes before ignoring it completely and spunking a buttload of nation’s cash

Pontins accused of discriminating in favour of Irish people by banning swathes of them from its shitty holiday camps

Webuyanycar.com offers Pompeii archaeologists fifty quid for recently discovered Roman carriage

Shrubbery denies Triffids-style takeover plot as people who saw meteors report vision problems

Hunt for Brazilian covid variant case ends after man spotted building a 100ft Christ The Redeemer statue on his front lawn

Top racehorse trainer insists he wasn't grinning and making inappropriate gesture as he sat astride dead horse

US and UK confused by new alien concept called 'consequences' after jailing of former French President Nicolas Sarkozy

Politicians suffer tongue burns after uttering name of Captain Sir Tom Moore

Production stopped on new Paddington movie after Peruvian bear deported by Priti Patel

Handforth Parish Council tells Scottish Parliament to be a bit more dignified

Restaurant customer sprinkled with washing powder by Father Ted writer Graham Linehan in Surf'n'TERF mix-up

"Ok, boomer!" Covid-19 tells Ebola as it tries to steal the limelight in West Africa

Biden to use two exclamation points in strongly worded letter rebuking Saudi Crown Prince for the killing of Jamal Khashoggi

Sign Up for our newsletter

"Look, I'll totally get around to publishing details of all our suspicious Covid-contracts, just as soon as I've finished redecorating my flat," promises Boris

"The proposed 1% pay rise is about as welcome as the clap," say elated nurses

School staff at no greater risk from covid, say experts working nowhere near classrooms

SpaceX to have time-travelling British 1970s and 80s Bonfire Night dads on standby with buckets of sand

Barbie Dreamhouse made escape-proof by French security chiefs in case Sarkozy corruption appeal fails

Most Popular

New 1970s-style covid public information films to scare shit out of people after appeal to decency and common sense fails

Mars Perseverance Rover to be fined by Derbyshire Police for breaking lockdown rules

Piers Morgan furiously smashes up Good Morning Britain studio after Meghan and Harry admit they've never heard of him

OJ offended by Boris Johnson comparison, says he was accused of killing about 120,000 fewer people

PM congratulates self after breweries forced to organise own piss-ups

Man injects excitement into lockdown by staring despondently out of a different window for the day

"Look, I'll totally get around to publishing details of all our suspicious Covid-contracts, just as soon as I've finished redecorating my flat," promises Boris

"The proposed 1% pay rise is about as welcome as the clap," say elated nurses

School staff at no greater risk from covid, say experts working nowhere near classrooms

SpaceX to have time-travelling British 1970s and 80s Bonfire Night dads on standby with buckets of sand

Barbie Dreamhouse made escape-proof by French security chiefs in case Sarkozy corruption appeal fails

Amazon denies it's plotting to invade Poland in wake of Hitler logo debacle

"123,000 dead but here's some money!" says Rishi as he slowly hypnotises nation with his devilish good looks

Chancellor to bang on about prudence and fiscal responsibility for at least 20 minutes before ignoring it completely and spunking a buttload of nation’s cash

Pontins accused of discriminating in favour of Irish people by banning swathes of them from its shitty holiday camps

Webuyanycar.com offers Pompeii archaeologists fifty quid for recently discovered Roman carriage

Shrubbery denies Triffids-style takeover plot as people who saw meteors report vision problems

Hunt for Brazilian covid variant case ends after man spotted building a 100ft Christ The Redeemer statue on his front lawn

Top racehorse trainer insists he wasn't grinning and making inappropriate gesture as he sat astride dead horse

US and UK confused by new alien concept called 'consequences' after jailing of former French President Nicolas Sarkozy

Politicians suffer tongue burns after uttering name of Captain Sir Tom Moore

Production stopped on new Paddington movie after Peruvian bear deported by Priti Patel

Handforth Parish Council tells Scottish Parliament to be a bit more dignified

Restaurant customer sprinkled with washing powder by Father Ted writer Graham Linehan in Surf'n'TERF mix-up

"Ok, boomer!" Covid-19 tells Ebola as it tries to steal the limelight in West Africa

Biden to use two exclamation points in strongly worded letter rebuking Saudi Crown Prince for the killing of Jamal Khashoggi